SOFREh aghd - The Wedding Spread

The Persian Aghd, which is the legal ceremony of the Iranian wedding, is a beautiful and joyful event celebrated with lots of music, laughter, food and love. For Moslem weddings, the Aghd is a legal contract between the man and the woman and extends many rights to the woman that are not common in other legal marriage contracts. Because of the diverse background of the people of Iran, not all Persian weddings are Moslem, and therefore depend on the chosen faith of the couple. Regardless of the faith, the Sofreh Aghd is usually present during a Persian wedding ceremony. These days, with lots of bicultural weddings, this cultural ritual is a beautiful and elegant way to celebrate a union. During this ceremony, a spread or sofreh is prepared for the bride and groom. Like other ancient Persian traditions such as the Haft Sin sofreh during Noruz, this event has roots in the Zoroastrian faith and does not relate to the Moslem religion. The Zoroastrian faith is based on the four elements of nature: earth, fire, water, and wind, and still has a strong influence on Persian celebrations. Traditionally the sofreh preparation is taken very seriously because what it contains is believed and hoped to be in the couple’s life and marriage. The word sofreh means “spread” like a table or food spread and appears in many Persian celebrations. The spread is typically set on the floor facing the east so that the couple facing the sofreh will face the light. It is best to use a traditional cloth for the sofreh, although in modern days sofrehs tend to be made of silk or white material often times decorated with lace. This of course depends on your taste and can vary from very elaborate to as modern and sleek as desired. It is recommended to have adequate padding or carpet under the sofreh so that the spread is supported properly. Sofrehs are designed on the floor in the room where the couple chooses to get married. These days, weddings are held any where from the family home to hotels, beaches, museums, national parks or the picturesque outdoors. For some sample spreads, click here.

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The Music & The Entrance

Perhaps one of the most important things during the ceremony is the music you choose to play. There are many Persian songs that are beautiful and there are also many classical songs that will suit the occasion, especially if the marriage is a mixed one. Traditional music played when the couple walks to the sofreh is called Mobarak Bad (“Bada Bada Mobarak”). This song is a familiar, happy, upbeat tune that is recognized by most Iranians. It congratulates the couple on this joyful event and is played as the couple walks into the room and takes their seats. Some brides choose to walk out with their fathers following the more Western tradition. In this way you can have a full processional with the wedding party and have your father bring you to the groom at the head of the sofreh. Remember that this will be your day – so do as you please.
In addition to this, it is also common to burn some “Esfand” while the couple is making an entrance. Esfand is made from wild rue and is burned in many Zoroastrian ceremonies, rituals and purification rites in Iranian homes. When burned, the Esfand bits give off a pleasant odor and smoke similar to incense. The person carrying the Esfand may walk around the couple and carry the smoke near them to make sure all evil is kept away. To burn Esfand, you can place it on hot coals in a metal container called Manghal or brazier. This will burn and set off the desired effect.

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The Wedding Guests

It used to be that a very small select group of people would be allowed to witness the Aghd ceremony, since it was believed that younger, unmarried women should hear the wedding readings for the first time at their own wedding. In today’s weddings, your guests will find this cultural ceremony very interesting, especially those who may not have seen it before or may not know what the signifiance of the Sofreh Aghd is. Typically seats are not provided for the ceremony as in Western weddings. In most ceremony, guests are free to walk around and mingle quietly in the party while the ceremony is taking place. You may want to provide seating and a description of the Persian events so that your guests understand the meaning behind the traditions. You may also direct your guests to sit, if you wish, or let them know ahead of time that they can do as they please. Here is a sample description of the Aghd ceremony that one of our users handed out at their wedding. To obtain your own PersianMirror Wedding Program, send us an email to weddings {AT} persianmirror {DOT} com and let us know what you would like.

The Couple & the Officiant

After the couple or the wedding party walks in, the couple is seated on a bench or wide chair at the head of the sofreh. They should face the sofreh and be able to see themselves in the mirror. At this point, the officiant arrives and typically sits on the right side of the sofreh, facing the couple. He proceeds to read the agreed upon vows and begins the ceremony. In this section, in a typical Moslem Iranian wedding, the officiant may be a Mullah or Moslem male priest, authorized to perform the legal part of the ceremony. If you are having a bi-cultural wedding, you may choose to have who you wish to perform this section. Some couples choose poetry readings, wedding vow exchanges or a simplified Persian reading in multiple languages to suit the occasion.

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The Ceremony & the Language

Both bride and groom provide a witness, typically an older married male such as the fathers, older brother or similar. In traditional Persian weddings, the ceremony consists of preliminary blessings and questions to the witnesses, guardians and the couple. After the preliminary blessings and a few words about the importance of the institution of marriage, the officiant typically confirms with both parents that he can proceed with no objections. Then he asks the mutual consent of the couple. First the groom is asked if he wishes to enter into the marriage contract. Then the bride is asked the same question. Here, the bride traditionally plays shy and makes the groom wait for her hand in marriage by not answering the question right away. The guests scream in the background, “she is not here” or “the bride has gone to pick some flowers” or “the bride is thinking”. She has to wait and not answer the question until it is asked a third time. She then says yes on the third try and they are pronounced husband and wife. During the service and the readings, married female relatives of the couple hold over the couple's head a white silky Ghand cloth. Two pieces of crystallized sugar called Kalleh Ghand shaped like cones are rubbed together, showering the couple with white powder. This symbolic act is meant to sweeten the couple's life. In addition, a small part of the the Ghand cloth, maybe on the left side of the couple is sewn together with needle and thread to symbolize sewing the mother-in-law's lips together. In today’s weddings, you may choose to skip this part. Others prefer to say that is symblizes sewing the lips of "nay-sayers", which may be a better explanation for the tradition. You may also have your bridesmaids hold the ends of the cloth but be sure to have married friends or relatives rubbing the sugar on the Ghand cloth. Also, you may modify the traditional readings from the Koran to shorten them, or replace them with beautiful poems to your liking. Today’s officiants are very flexible and will do as asked. In addition, remember to have the ceremony also read in other languages that may be appropriate to the guests. In a bicultural wedding, ceremonies can be done in Farsi, English, and a third or fourth language depending on the origin of the couple. Click here for some sample Aghd Ceremony pictures.

Husband & Wife

Once the couple is pronounced husband and wife, the officiant asks for God's blessing to be with the couple in their lives together. The bride and groom exchange rings and kiss. At this point, the honey is also presented to the happy couple. Here, the groom dips his finger into the honey and gives some to the bride. She does the same in turn and they are ensured a sweet and happy life together. The legal documents are signed by the couple and the witnesses and the wedding party hands out sweets, and pastries from the sofreh to the guests. Items from the sofreh are always thought to be blessed and bring good luck and great fortune. Bride and groom give each other more sweets such as sweet almonds and nuts. They may then proceed to light the candles on either side of the mirror, one for the bride and one for the groom to symbolize light in their new life.

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The Items on the Sofreh

Perhaps the best part of the Persian wedding is the sofreh and its significance. The spread contains many items, all to symbolize different qualities that the couple would hope to bring into their new life together. The illustation above is just a simple sample sofreh that you can use to determine where to place your items. You can make the design as elaborate or as clean as you desire. There are many other items you can place on the sofreh and they include:

Click here for some sample sofreh pictures.

Optional Items:

A needle and seven strands of colored thread to figuratively sew up the mother-in-law's lips from speaking unpleasant words or meddling in the marriage. For those who wish to keep this portion and make it less offensive, the tradition could means sewing the lips of "nay-sayers". The Ghand cloth that is held above the couple's head throughout the ceremony is sewed in one corner by the needle and threads.
A prayer carpet/kit "Jaa-Namaaz" spread open in the center of Sofreh-ye Aghd to remind the couple of their faith. This prayer kit includes a small rug "Sajjaadeh" to be spread on the floor at the time of prayer, a small cube of molded clay with prayers written on it "Mohr" and a strand of prayer beads "Tasbih".

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PERSIAnmirror Wedding Programs

It is recommended that you provide a descriptive wedding program for your guests to explain the traditions of your ceremony. The program can include details on the Sofreh Aghd, and the symbolism behind the items and actions in the ceremony. You may also want to provide a more extensive program, which includes a list of what you will do after the Aghd such as dinner, dancing, and other celebrations. Your guests will appreciate knowing this information in advance so that they come prepared and enjoy your day with set expectations. If you need help creating wedding cards and programs, email us for more a customized program.

Here is a sample program to inspire you for your ceremony:

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5 Top Tips for Your Sofreh Aghd

1. Create a Sofreh that you will love – The Sofreh Aghd, although traditional and Persian, should reflect your taste and style. There are so many different color schemes, styles and sizes that are open to you. Do not feel boxed in to create your mother’s sofreh. If you just don’t care, then put someone in charge of putting together a traditional one for you.

2. Use the Items on the Sofreh to personalize your event – Although you should certainly include the traditional items on the sofreh, which are important symbols for your marriage, you can also include other things that you like. One couple placed a portrait of their family on the Sofreh.

3. Use the Sofreh to express culture – If you are a mixed couple use the Sofreh as a spread that will unite the culture. Incorporate flowers, fruits, coins, books of scriptures, or other edible delicacies from the other culture. This will show respect to the family and show that you are one. One couple we know placed two beautiful and large flower arrangements from the Philipines to incorporate the partner’s culture. Speak to your partner’s family about any specific items that may be significant and make sure they are ok with you doing this.

4. Include family in the planning – If you are Persian, your mother has been looking forward to preparing your Sofreh since the day you were born. Make sure you speak to her and all other relatives and friends who get excited with details and preparation. They may give you some great ideas and they will feel honored that you included them in the preparation.

5. Put someone in charge – for the big day, make sure you put someone in charge who knows what they are doing. This person should ideally be older, and have experienced a few weddings, and should be able to communicate in the different lanaguages that may be present on your big day (English, Farsi, and so on. Be sure to hand out to your guests, wedding programs and explanations of the Sofreh.

For more sample Sofreh pictures, be sure to visit our Sofreh photo album.

Our special thanks to Kaveh Sardari for sharing his beautiful wedding photography with us.

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