Pooya: I am Pooya, 26 years old and I am homosexual.

Soroosh: I am Soroosh, 23 years old, and also homosexual. I have been in Turkey for 6 months.

AP: How do you explain the life of a gay man in Iran?

Pooya: A gay man has no life in Iran at all to be explained. Life is meaningless for him and he receives no acceptance for himself and his lifestyle. He has lots of problems involving his family, his society, the government, etc. I have a master’s degree, but I was not accepted even as a secretary in Iran as I was different from others. They didn’t say directly that it was because I am gay but they didn’t offer me any job and their reason was clearly implied. My family didn’t understand me. People made fun of me and they tormented me in such a way that I didn’t dare go out of my home. There is no place for a gay person in Iran as the culture does not accept the presence of homosexuality. A homosexual is not allowed to talk about himself and everyone looks at him in a different way. They call him a faggot, or they call him feminine. 

AP: Whenever I talk to a gay man, I deal with the term “feminine”. Every gay man becomes unhappy of this label and they take it as a humiliation. From your point of view, who is feminine and why is this word used? 

Pooya: People used to call me feminine in any gathering. Everybody laughed at me and so this word was hateful for me. It was used to humiliate me. That’s why every gay man flees from this word.

Soroosh: Feminine was a label that I had to carry since my childhood. This word was not unfamiliar to me as I heard it everywhere – in my family, at school, everywhere in society. They called us feminine so often that we became used to it. Sometimes I really felt that I was feminine and this was my name.

This word is very insulting in our society and any man hearing it becomes offended. My father and my brother became so upset when others called me feminine. They were ashamed.

AP: In your view, what should be done in a society where wearing vibrant colors or colognes are abnormal? 

Soroosh: I believe one person cannot change this culture. It will take a long time. Public awareness and education should be implemented to tackle this issue. 

Pooya: People must be made aware that such people do exist, they have the right to live like others and they should be accepted as they are. Wearing a T-shirt or a specific color does not represent the personality. We have to ask them to listen to us and talk to us about our tastes. They should not assume things and make fun of a person whose reality they know nothing about. 

AP: Do your families know anything about your sexual orientation? 

Pooya: My family does not. But they have recognized some things and are suspicious. They know nothing about homosexuals etc. and believe that every man should marry a woman and have kids. They do not know that such things exist. That is why I believe that people should be informed. If I had a comfortable life, I would have never gotten out of Iran and come to live here, under the conditions you are now witnessing. 

Soroosh: Every one has the right to choose his/her own lifestyle. When a person is not hurting me with their lifestyle choices, their private life should not be a problem for me; I have no right to criticize them.  Our people are so curious to know why we are like this. When they find out, they deny it.

I could never talk about who I am in Iran. This matter has obsessed me in a way that I want to cry out everywhere ‘I am a homosexual and I have the right to live’. A homosexual person should have the freedom to go to work, study, marry and have kids. 

AP: Please describe your daily life in Iran.

Soroosh: I was not the real Soroosh in Iran. I was someone who wore a mask on his face. I was forced to isolate myself and feel lonely so no one would notice my problems and differences. If anyone had become aware, they would have raped, harassed, or made fun of me. They tortured us with the aim of helping us! For example they said: “You will get fixed. Have sex with a girl in order to change your taste.” They forced us to do many things which were unjust. When they discovered that these pressures did not work, they used other ways. They hit, insulted or raped us. All our moments in Iran were full of stress and torture. Although I have many problems here, it is still better than Iran. People in this city may be much worse than people in Iran, but at least my family is not present here to restrict or hit me for any small issue like the color of my clothes or the way I talking. At least I am not forced to play a role anymore. I am my true self.  

AP: How is your condition in Turkey? 

Pooya: Our condition is not better than Iran. Five of us sleep in one room. Poor financial conditions make life very difficult. The sanitation condition is horrible. One of our friends has got a dermatological problem and his body has blistered all over. Our heads itch as there is no clean bathroom. Another friend has got sciatica due to the present pressures and has not able to walk for two months. My toe nails have turned black due to calcium deficiency.

Since the expenses for drugs and medical treatment are so high, we are forced to take old medicine or what is sent to us from Iran. 

Soroosh: We even do not have safety. They threatened us by gun a while ago and told us: “We, Turks, do not accept you and can kill you simply if we wish. We are Muslims and do not accept these issues.” We even have problems with police and they make fun of us too.

Pooya:  We even have problems with groceries. Once I was coming out of a grocery store, the security men stopped me and began to check my body. They intended to molest me. They touched my hips. What could I hide there?! Was there any other intention than molesting me?! I am so sad that I am humiliated even here.