Feature > Opinion > CONDI'S CAPTION CONTEST BY BRUCE BAHMANI
A couple of weeks ago I saw this picture in the news and couldn't help but to start laughing. Sometimes, I think there really is some kind of vast conspiracy, but not by the liberal news media, but by news photographers. It's like they try to see what they can get away with.
Whatever the real conspiracy may be, it certainly helps put the news in perspective. Because contrary to what they want us to believe, for the most part, most of the time, most of the world is not on fire.
I sent out the picture for a contest of sorts to my 'Crude Crew' or 'Persian Posse' for commentary. Here's what the lovely lads responded with.
Apologies in advance.
'That W, he just don't do it for a woman like me. How's a sista supposed to work with this?'
'Before I had my little 'procedure', mine was this big'
or 'Yes it's true, Hillary's got one...and it's this big'
or, on a non-penile note, 'Listen up Cheney, I am THIS close to whuppin’ your fat ass if you even mention invading Iran!'
or, 'I was THIS close to becoming the first Black president, and then this frikkin’ Obama guy had to show up!'
or 'Do this finger stretch exercise every day and maybe you too could become a concert pianist, like I used to be'
or 'Dubya, I want a wad of hundreds, this thick, or I tell the world the truth about you and Rove'
'He not only lied to me about Yellow Cake in Niger, he's only this big!!!!'
'He told me it is 12 inches.'
#1 I'm crushing your head!
#2 I'm about this close to throwing in the towel and going back to Stanford.
We were this close to victory in Iraq.
'Charlton Heston's was only this big!' re: Planet of the Apes